One of the most difficult posts I’ll ever write…

Hi everyone – I had thought that my update for the month of September would be to fill you in on my book status and when the fourth book in the series might be available, or how the writer’s conference went or even how my own book event turned out.

But I’m writing now, sooner than I expected to, in order to share the saddest news to you from my author self. I’ve suffered another loss, and this time it has affected me in a way I hadn’t put any thought in to when I first began to write my mystery series.

I’ve shared with you in previous posts about my dog, Piper, who has dealt with some health issues the past few months. Piper is also the only “real” character in my mystery series and I have thoroughly enjoyed adding her cuteness to the personality of her fictional alter ego. 

Sadly, the issues that continued to plague Piper came back with a vengeance this past week. We attempted another surgery to remove the infection, and a new mass in her neck, but I’m heartbroken to share that a few days after surgery, complications arose and there was nothing more we could do. I was with her when she passed, I’m so thankful for that, but saying goodbye was gut wrenching for me. She was my little shadow, my muse, my writing buddy (always lying on the floor in the office with me when I was plugging away these past five years) and her absence will be felt…Every. Single. Day.

When I first began writing this series and decided to add Piper as a character, I never thought about what it would mean to me if something ever happened to her. Whether or not I could continue to write about her, no longer having her by my side. Whether I could continue to share her personality traits or quirks in the series, when I wasn’t around her to see them firsthand every day. 

Whether I’d wantto continue to share parts of her with others, when I couldn’t have her here for myself.

These thoughts had never occurred to me…

Admittedly, as I review my latest novel and read over what I wrote about Piper in the story, it’s difficult. I want her here, with me. Admittedly, it’s only been two days and I need some time to heal. However, when I sat down today to work on my book, and as I let myself become immersed in the story, something happened I did not expect. It felt good to read about her. It felt good to imagine her healthy…hanging out with her owner, going for walks, playing outside, riding in a vehicle. Doing what dogs do, rather than how I’ve seen her the past few months due to her illness.

And I felt her here, with me. 

She’s no longer physically here with me, but she will always be by my side, in spirit at least. As a “character” in my series, the memory of her will continue to live on through my books, and because of that, she will live forever.