Nonfiction Nugget: Adoptions & DNA

Welcome to the next installment in my Nonfiction Nugget series, which I’ll continue to share on the blog about every other month, in addition to my PI Posts, Character Coffee Chats and regular post updates.

Today’s Nonfiction Nugget is about adoptions and DNA. While I compare notes as it might relate to the Jorja Matthews mystery series, please be prepared, as some of the information I share might offer spoilers to anyone who hasn’t yet read the series. 

Let’s begin…

Sometimes private investigators are hired to assist a client as they attempt to find a birth parent who gave them up for adoption. Or the client might be the birth parent who has decided to look for the child they gave up so many years ago. Whoever is requesting the search, they may also wish to form a relationship with the other. The missing parent or child may be found, or not, and the parties may be reunited, or not, but either way, these cases are usually very emotional for all concerned.

Who, What, Why, When, Where…

There are many factors involved with adoption, beyond the parents and the child themselves. The who, what, why, when and where all come into play:

• How old the child is;
• If the child ever knew his or her birth parents;
• If the birth parents facilitated the adoption or by their own actions caused the child to be forcibly removed;
• Where the child is adopted from and whether they will go through a culture shock with the new family;
• Whether the child, if adopted as a baby, is ever told the truth about being adopted;
• Whether the child later wants to meet the birth parents and, on the other side of the coin, whether the birth parents ever wish to have contact with the child again.

For the private investigator conducting the search, other variables come into play, such as the laws relating to adoption in the state(s) where they conduct their search, whether the child has Native American heritage, and the ethical concerns regarding the P.I.’s choice whether or not to share the contact information with the client, if the located person indicates a refusal to have further contact.

Spoiler alert! Read on at your own risk…

My character, Jorja Matthews, is an adopted child due to the actions taken by her birth mother. She wasn’t told the truth about her birth and instead, was raised to believe her birth mother was her aunt. Jorja’s twin, Ryan, wasn’t adopted legally, but he was raised by loving parents who also kept the truth from him. It was only during a deathbed confession that he learned the truth about his birth and decided to locate and reach out to Jorja.

When a phone call or impromptu meeting can change lives

The introduction of a relative that a person or their family never knew existed can have a huge impact in many ways. It’s not uncommon for adopted children to decide when they are older that they’d like to reach out to meet their birth parents and siblings. I can expect that might be difficult for the adoptive parents, who have lovingly raised the child and provided for them. It’s a normal reaction to wonder why the child wishes to have contact with someone who gave them away or who had the child removed from them due to their own actions. When Jorja first approached the only mother she ever knew for more answers about her birth, it was a knee-jerk reaction for her mother to continue to lie, in an attempt to do what she thought was right, and that was to protect her child from being hurt.

But it’s natural to wonder where you came from

It’s natural to wonder who your birth parents are, what they might be like, why they gave you up, and if you have any siblings. It’s natural to wonder what you might have in common with your parents or siblings and whether you can possibly have any sort of adult relationship with them without the ties from childhood that usually bind us.

When fictional characters make their own choices

I’ll admit something here and that’s while I was writing the first draft of No Mother of Mine, I had no idea Ryan was going to survive. Originally, he was supposed to have died at birth, and it was going to be one more issue Jorja would have to work through, the fact that her mother committed infanticide. It’s a disturbing crime and I shared more about that subject in a prior blog post which you can read here. However, while I was writing the story, the character’s tale changed on me. Ryan, in his own way, told me he wanted to be a part of the story. Ryan wanted to grow up, get married and have his own child. I didn’t think that far ahead, but baby Ryan wouldn’t let me get by with snuffing him out in the first couple of pages.

Family bonds are a theme in my novels, dysfunctional or otherwise, as the characters work through various difficulties in their lives. Jorja’s head is swimming when she learns that her aunt is her birth mother, and that she has a living twin who the family believed had died after birth. When Jorja discovers her twin brother is possibly alive, she’s stunned and overwhelmed but eventually she decides to verify whether his claims are true.

Findings answers with DNA

As I got used to the idea of having another character to mold and work around in each novel, Jorja was able to be open to the idea of having a brother, but only after she obtained proof they were related. DNA is a wonderful tool when used for certain purposes. Verifying blood relationships is one of them. Assisting in arresting and charging a suspect for a crime is another, especially cold case crimes. In fact, there are many cases where DNA has been used to catch a suspect, sometimes by first narrowing down potential relatives of the suspect through genealogy. Very recently in my home state, charges were filed against a mother for the death of her baby 23 years ago after she allegedly left the baby in a trash can at a gas station. Not only did the police narrow down possible relatives to the baby using genealogy, they got creative and were able to gather DNA directly from the suspect to verify she was a match to evidence left at the scene. You can read more about that case here.

What if? The first question for every story

If Ryan had learned about his past before his and Jorja’s birth mother died, the story would have played out differently, but to what extent? Would they have been able to confront, or discuss with their birth mother what she had done, or attempted to do? Would Ryan want to meet the mother who tried to kill him? Would a relationship have been possible between the three of them? Would Jorja still have concerns about having children herself? Would all those factors have taken over the story and steered it in another direction? I honestly have no clue. As always, when I write, the story unfolds as it wants to and I’m just along for the ride.

One thing I know is that if Jorja and Ryan had been able to approach their birth mother together, she likely would have met with them and talked about what happened. And that would have led to some closure for both of them. Except it’s not what I gave them, and leaves them something to internally scratch at every so often.

Parents who don’t want contact with children they gave up

It happens that sometimes parents discover a child they gave up is trying to reach out to them…and they make the decision not to meet the child. Then what? Will the child ever gain closure? What reasonable basis would the parent have for denying contact? Would it involve guilt for having given up the child? Fear based on something in their current lives? Will the parent come to terms with those reasons and finally agree to meet with the child? It would be difficult enough to learn later in life the truth about being adopted, but I can imagine it would be worse to have that parent make a conscious decision to keep the child out of their life a second time.

Those are questions and thoughts I have because I believe, in the near future, Jorja may get mixed up in an adoption case that’ll raise many of those concerns as she works her way through another mystery. It’ll be a new challenge as far as cases are concerned and I look forward to where that story will take Jorja, as well as the other characters involved in the story.